{"id":80,"date":"2024-07-28T03:19:47","date_gmt":"2024-07-28T03:19:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.nuclearwaffle.com\/?p=80"},"modified":"2024-07-28T04:24:41","modified_gmt":"2024-07-28T04:24:41","slug":"grograem-lightaxe-letter-day-two","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nuclearwaffle.com\/?p=80","title":{"rendered":"Letter to Grograem Lightaxe, Mining Camp Alpha, Northern Wilds – Day Two"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

<The following letter is written in clearly drunken handwriting><\/em><\/code><\/p>\n\n\n\n

hey shortass–<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have<\/p>\n\n\n\n

News<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You were right and when you’re right you’re right and like your dad always said the only good knowledge is deep dwarf knowledge and I shouldn’t have left for the city<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I found work for some old batty artifisser and all I had to do was shut down things that did weird stuff which usually was just me hitting it with a sword until it didn’t move anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Next thing I know I’m in this glowing armor that fused itself to me and makes me do paladin stuff, my boss turned into some weird dead skeleton thing and there were a bunch of weird brains running around eating people. I wish you’d seen it my half-size half-brother, I kicked SO MUCH ASS the entire city couldn’t sit for a week<\/p>\n\n\n\n

well okay that wasn’t really true but I was READY TO and then someone else burnt him to ashes along with my paycheck. So that’s great. But I guess I’m not unemployed because the guy that burnt my boss works for this thing called MOOK which fights weird otherwordly things and I guess that’s what I do now. Oh and I work for the son of the dragon that fought with mortals in some war, I guess? It really hurts to think about so I’m trying not to. The ale they have here is piss water compared to Dwarf stuff but it still works if you drink enough of it<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyway I know you said NEVER GO TO THE CITY and I did and now everything’s gone wrong and you were right. You win the bet. May rockblight curse your ballsack and here’s your five silver you filthy cave rat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Come visit and I’ll show you all the girls with the best kneecaps in the city<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Your brother in the deep and the dark,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Torgrun

(enclosed 5 silver)
WHOEVER CARRIES THIS LETTER, IF YOU STEAL THIS SILVER YOUR MOM’S A TROLLOP<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

<The following letter is written in clearly drunken handwriting> hey shortass– I Have News You were right and when you’re right you’re right and like your dad always said the only good knowledge is deep dwarf knowledge and I shouldn’t have left for the city I found work for some old batty artifisser and all…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-80","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dd"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nuclearwaffle.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nuclearwaffle.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nuclearwaffle.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nuclearwaffle.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nuclearwaffle.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=80"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.nuclearwaffle.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":86,"href":"https:\/\/www.nuclearwaffle.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80\/revisions\/86"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nuclearwaffle.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=80"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nuclearwaffle.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=80"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nuclearwaffle.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=80"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}